the devil inside - what a mother should not be

thinking back to the first attack
we did not know or see what was to be

what was to become of me
me only twelve turning thirteen

she was possessed by the lust of a dangerous man
who had a dangerous plan

a plan for a woman leaving her man
a woman with three kids (almost four, he was left on a clinic floor)

did the lost child belong to my dad
or the man with the dangerous plan?

she move us far away from our dad
we were trapped with her and the man with the dangerous plan

he watched us
he touched me

i did not know
i did not see that is wasn't only me

he did more
can you see

she did not believe me
she did not believe them

touched and tortured
she denied it pretending to be a good mommy

we all ran away from her
we all left at about fourteen or fifteen

we traded one devil for another
we left her for the lesser of the evils in this world

it is confusing to me
I don't understand why she (our biological mother) let these things happen to me

why she let it happen to the others
why she aided in his evil and dark acts

through their dark acts
we stand up fighting back

not knowing our Savior had our backs
only able to see the dark attacks

He helped us to stand
He helped us not fall

through it all we stood up
prepared for the next battle

this is an internal war
between a mother and her children

children fighting from the beginning
fighting for love, happiness  and safety that we'd never find with her

this long fight finally took us to God's door
searching for so much more

once we opened that door
love and happiness flowed through us

with a new family in tow
and God's army waiting

we will not lose this battle
the battle that started at deborah's door

for reasons we will not know or see
when God closes one door

He opens another door
deborah's doors kept us prisoners

prisoners in life and in out minds
reality was a false tale

once the holy spirit came calling
deborah's door began falling

with the holy spirit whispers
i no longer fear the dark knight

i no longer fear the devil at her side
i no longer fear her demon posses soul

i know that God will have my back
at every single attack

devil be gone with the power of my Lord and Savior
demons leave us alone in the name of Jesus Christ

Amen
Amen

Finally at peace
Finally we can be free

now free to become who we were meant to be
be who God wanted us to be