The Devil Inside: What a Mother Should Never Be

Thinking back to the first attack,
we didn’t know what was to be,
what was to become of me,
me, only twelve, turning thirteen.

She was possessed by the lust of a dangerous man,
with a dangerous plan—
a plan for a woman leaving her man,
a woman with three kids (almost four, left on a clinic floor).

Did the lost child belong to my dad,
or the man with the dangerous plan?
She moved us far away from our dad,
we were trapped with her, and the man with the dangerous plan.

He watched us,
he touched me—
I did not know,
I did not see.
It wasn’t only me.

He did more—can you see?
She did not believe me,
she did not believe them.
Touched and tortured,
she denied it, pretending to be a good mommy.

We all ran away from her,
left at about fourteen or fifteen,
trading one devil for another,
leaving her for the lesser of the evils in this world.

It’s confusing to me,
I don’t understand why she let these things happen,
why she let it happen to us,
why she aided in his dark, evil acts.

Through their darkness,
we stood, fighting back,
not knowing our Savior had our backs,
only able to see the dark attacks.

He helped us stand,
He helped us not fall.
Through it all, we stood up,
prepared for the next battle.

This is an internal war,
between a mother and her children,
children fighting from the start,
fighting for love, happiness, and safety
that we'd never find with her.

This long fight finally took us to God’s door,
searching for so much more.
Once we opened that door,
love and happiness flowed through us,
with a new family in tow,
and God's army waiting.

We will not lose this battle,
the battle that started at Mother’s door.
For reasons we may never know,
when God closes one door,
He opens another.
Mother's doors kept us prisoners,
prisoners in life and in our minds,
reality a false tale.

Once the Holy Spirit came calling,
Mother’s door began to fall,
with Holy Spirit whispers,
I no longer fear the dark knight.
I no longer fear the devil at her side,
I no longer fear her demon-possessed soul.

I know that God will have my back
at every single attack—
devil be gone,
with the power of my Lord and Savior,
demons leave us alone,
in the name of Jesus Christ.

Amen. Amen.

Finally at peace,
finally, we can be free.
Now free to become who we were meant to be,
who God wanted us to be.





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