The Bite

The Bite

Sitting quietly,
An ear-piercing screech rips through my head.
I jump up, attacking everything in my path,
Though I don’t know why.
The noise sparks raging red flashbacks,
Blinding me with the weight of my past.
I lash out.
Mommy’s voice echoes in the distance, "STOP, STOP, STOP,
No, no, stop!"
But I can't.
I feel lightning pierce my innermost being.
I run to my mommy's room—
My safe place.
Now, I wonder, what did I do?
What will happen?
She hasn’t spoken to me for days, her anger lingering.
My side still aches from the lightning that struck me.
I can see I hurt her.
I see the bite.
I bit her knee.

If she makes me leave,
Who will have me?
Does she still love me?
Days pass, maybe even a week,
But I will try harder to be a good boy.
Finally, she pets me,
Finally, she speaks to me.
She hasn’t sent me away.
She looks at me, and softly says,
"I love you, but you cannot hurt me or people.
You’re a good boy. Be a good boy for Mommy."
I am still here.
She loves me.
My mommy still loves me.

If you listen when HE speaks

When He speaks to us
     do we really listen
           He offers us second chances
               do we really listen
                    If you listen you will see

I can tell you many stories that could be chance
     the stories
          could be faith
               the stories could be
                    so much more

He gave me sign 
     I always saw them
          heard them
               felt that something was coming
                   felt that something was going to happen

when it happened
     My old lady baby Ritta was almost no more
          My heart was crying, screaming that i am not ready
                    My mind was breaking, don't take her away
                         My inner most mind was PRAYING           
                                       
Because I listened
     heard the whispers
          saw the signs
               felt the meaning
                    Only He can give us the site to see what it all means

I was in the right place at the right time
      God gave me and my Ritta more time
          God gave my Dog more time
                She is here today because I listen to my Father
                    Watching, waiting for the signs, not wasting any time

God knew I was not ready to see her go
     God knew that if she passed that day
          my heart would be broken, flying far away
               God gave me the chance to save her life, as long as my eyes were open
                    as I pray I thank God every day for who He allows to stay

Ritta (3/21/18 ~ the night she almost wasn't)

3/27/2018

My old girl sits beside me She nudges her head wanting me to touch her. I touch her head I rub her kiss her talk to her telling her how much I adore in love her

She gags she becomes restless she walks around so uncomfortable, she gags some more producing no spit no vomit she starts foaming at the mouth her stomach starts to swell and swell and swell. on my God I think she's gonna burst, I start to panic

The weekend before she had similar symptoms however she did vomit she did go potty and the swelling went away within minutes. I thought nothing of it, I did some research there were 6 or 8 options on Google of what she could be suffering from

As all of this flashes by my head all I can think of was one of those things said death within minutes more panic sets in I  Begin to cry

As I cry-out that I have to go to the vet right now! Her belly continues to grow I put her in the back of the truck and we drive, not sure where to go. I called my vet their closing, however they fax information to the ER vet and tell me where to go.

Driving to the vet I cry on the phone to the vet, I cry when I'm trying to talk and check her into the ER. Just as I can become a little calmed in the safety of the office,  she continues to gag her swelling continues to grow I know she might not walk out

She will be 13 next month. They take her to the back what seemed like an eternity finally the doctor comes back confirming that she has Bloat. That was one of the things listed, the 1 that can kill her. I continue to cry I just wanted her home with me

To love another so muchThat the thought of them not being there brings you in to immediate tears as pain, To sit there alone processing this brings even more pain

He says assuming everything comes back good with her blood work, they can do surgery and try to save her. Do you want an estimate he ask? My eyes got big and I said, no just save her I don't care. The estimate was $3500 at the worst case scenario and I just said I don't care I just start pulling out credit cards, save my baby. Her time is not now

After I make the payment of the best case scenario $2350 they kick me out of the ER told me to go home and wait. I sat in the parking lot for at least an hour crying

I get home and I can't stop crying I call them a couple hours later and she's just now going into surgery I wait, I wait and I cried myself to sleep

No one beside, me all alone, I cry and curled up with the other dogs.

Sometime while I was asleep there was a voicemail that came in. She survived the surgery, a gasp of relief. I dropped the phone and fall asleep in total exhaustion.

At 8:00 a.m. the phone rings and the doctor repeats the same thing that was on the voicemail, she made it through surgery and she's ready to go home. Like a lightning bolt I was gone, dressed and out of the house to go get my baby, my old lady baby

A straight line cut down her gut, every time I check her incision, I flashback to the pain of what if-not having her around. Her belly looks great, the bruising is going away she's moving around more and more as each day passes my old lady baby is healing

I sit here looking at her incision and she sleeps so peacefully, my old lady baby is beautiful all Gray with staples running down her middle belly. I love her so much, I love them all. This is the 2nd time one of our babies have touched death and my heart breaks at the thought of them not being here annoying me, happily Annoying me. 

I would never change a thing, I want them to be here for as long as possible. Annoying me, loving me, as I'm sure I annoy them and I love them. There is Nothing that I won't do for them. I wouldn't let them ever go anywhere or be taken away from me. I love my rescue dogs, so very much